Since I didn't get to see the movie with Kathy and Michele yesterday, I went to see it today, while Kathy was still in Phoenix visiting Michele. We all went to see "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button." It was very good and I really enjoyed it. I went at the last minute, parked a long way away, went in while the previews were playing and sat in the next to the last row. Hmm, you would think that would add up to stress, but it didn't. It worked out perfectly. I didn't have to wait for anything, got in, sat down, watched the movie and got out. It was great. I called and talked to K&M when I got home and we all talked about our favorite parts (no spoilers here), which is the best part of going to the movies together.
Well, then tonight I watched another movie, and I feel I must share with you about this movie. Why, you say, why must I? I feel I must divest myself of the burden of the whys and wherefores of this movie. Let me give you a rundown. First of all, the title is Doomsday. Sounds like a good sci fi movie, a genre I particularly enjoy. Ah, sucked in already. What, you say, no names sound familiar? The first warning sign. Wait, there's a familiar name - Malcolm McDowell. Oops, another warning sign. Back to the rundown - here's the plot and a quickie overview of the movie and the last two hours of my life (do you note a trace of bitterness?....)
The setting is the near future and a plague has erupted in Scotland (why must they pick on Scotland?) When it is found to be incurable a huge wall is built in place of Hadrian's wall (the historical wall that Rome built to keep out the pagan barbarians) to keep Scotland isolated, along with a no fly zone and total sea isolation. Scotland is left to curl up and die with no supplies or power, etc. Before being cut off, a brave mother manages to convince a soldier to give up his place on a helicopter for her little girl, who has been shot in the eye (yes, her eye). Tearful shot of the mother being left behind.
Now we are in the year 2035 and the little girl is a hard assed soldier who uses her false eye, which detaches, as a tool for advance detection. I kid you not. Pluck it out, roll it out it the hallway, it sends back images to her watch. ???!!?? She's hard as nails and is the logical one to be called when the virus resurfaces in overcrowded London. They must send in a team when it is discovered that **gasp** survivors are seen in flyby photos of Scotland. They must send in a team to find the doctor who was working on a cure in Glasgow and see if he's still alive or if he found a cure.
They get into Scotland and find post-apocalyptic youth who are tattooed, punk, and eat humans. Our hero is tougher than them, fights her way out while saving a sweet innocent girl who turns out to be the daughter of the doctor. Score! They make their getaway to the train station just in the nick of time and make their way out of the city on a steam train along with a fresh faced (and therefore obviously normal) boy with a bow and arrow (?). They abandon the train in the middle of nowhere and climb a mountain and end up in a nuclear bomb shelter. (Are you still with me?). It's their way of getting through the mountain. The boy and girl have no idea what it really is.
As they emerge on the other side of the mountain into a smokey glen, they hear a low rumble. The boy and girl shout to run. The brave hero stands firm even tho it turns out that its the doctor's executioner (it turns out that the doctor is a bad guy, and father of sicko city goth/punk kid and brother to innocent girl. Oy). The rumbling is a black knight on a huge horse (I kid you not - a knight). Our brave she warrior, now without all her technology, but her eye still in her head, stands toe to toe to the knight and they are taken to the evil doctor.
Yadda yadda. Doctor is crazy, they must live off the grid because the world is evil and they are survivors, the world created the virus, yadda, yadda. Doctor punishes his daughter with hot branding iron (this movie spares no gore or sickening sound effect) and throws brave hero into unarmed combat with huge knight, whom she beats up and ultimately kills as they all break out and escape.
They get back to fallout shelter and open some boxes and find Bentley, yes, a Bentley as in a car, sports car to be exact. And a box of cell phones. How conveeeeenient. So they gas up the car (while a slew of horsemen are chasing them) and make their getaway out of the mountain.... onto the roads of Scotland..... and here comes a cop car, driven by insane city punks. Just like a Scottish Mad Max.
Really?? Mad Max now? Okay. Lots of road carnage. Much stunt driving. Much gore and bone breakage. Hero calls her boss, the police chief, who has to tell his boss, big bad guy, who sends in a helicopter. Our hero delivers the vaccine, doctor's daughter and her only remaining team member, a doctor, to the helicopter and confronts the bad guy and he tells her his evil plan (stupid, stupid man). She chooses not to go on the helicopter, and it takes off and leaves her.
We find her now in her house in Glasgow where she has found a picture of herself with her mother, sitting on the floor crying a little. Her boss comes in, as they now know the area must be safe. He tells her that the bad guy has gotten away with it and she pulls out a disc from her watch/recording device which works with her fake eye and gives it to her boss. He takes it and tells her to be safe and takes off in his helicopter, leaving her to the city. Bad guy foiled. She gets in the car and drives to where the goth/punk kids live, now without their leader whom she killed on the battle on the road, and she becomes their leader (it is implied).
Ah - I am purged. Really, if I hadn't have written it down, would you have believed it if I had just written it as a sci fi/ post apocalyptic/ Arthurian/ cannibalistic/ doomsday story? Who in their right mind would put all those together? I've watched a lot of bad sci fi movies and, sad to say, this wasn't the worst of them. That has to go to some of the movies made by the Sci Fi Channel. Who pays for this stuff? Who writes this stuff? I have dreams that are waaaay better than these movies. I need to write them down more often. Benjamin Button - now that was good writing. I recommend that movie - go see it.