not so good for ambien so far

My first night on ambien ended with me listening to the news that started at 5am, as usual. I don't remember how long I was into it but I do know they had started to repeat themselves so that usually means at least one hour. I watch Robin Meade cause she's cute and perky in a non annoying and don't want to throw anything at the screen at her kind of way, and then it goes to Richard Lui, who is cool and techno savvy, which I like, but he starts about 4 hours after Robin (she's just so cute and nice - like a big daisy). Good lord, it must be the insomnia - you know me, I usually want to machine gun people like that. Did I happen to mention she had won a beauty contest or two? Yea, nuff said.

I slept really deep, as I do when the plethora of drugs finally hit, and was awakened early, around 3:45 pm, by the doorbell ringing. I had ordered a shirt for the olympics. I did that last time with the hat (that I still can't find but want to - it's very comfortable), so I wanted to get something this time, too (It's just a basic t-shirt), but then I heard Alex's voice and I realized she wasn't delivering a t-shit, and sure enough, Josh came in right after her. They never visit without calling, not that they can't. I don't mind drop in visits and mom was up, but I had to haul myself out of a pretty deep sleep and make myself a little more presentable and stumbled out of my bedroom, mumbling good morning. 

They were out doing some errands and just dropped by, so we just visited and it was really nice. It was overcast today. Get this, everywhere else in the state got traces of rain except a city just outside of the metro called Yukon which got 2.25 inches. That's just crazy. I'm not sure what we all even talked about, some of Josh's work, the benefits of Direct TV, which they're getting, and just stuff. They eventually left to go home and clean their house. 

So, we turned on the TV and waited for America's Got Talent to start, and I, of course, fell back asleep, and mom let me. I woke up after it had been on about a half hour. Luckily, I always record them on the DVR. She had been sitting at her computer playing her games, so when I woke up we turned it on and it was a good one. Like I said before, that show always makes me cry. It's really great to have mom here to watch it with me. It's fun having someone here that enjoys it, too, and it's giving me a great memory of time spent with her. Although the Olympics are starting tomorrow, which we will be watching, I'm looking forward to when AGT starts up again with the live shows in Hollywood. 

I'm dreading having to do this, but once again I'm going to have to write Marilyn and tell her I'm going to have to put off the visit. I am getting smacked with some big bills right now. I took my car in for an oil change yesterday and it turns out it was due for it's 22,500 mile service, so instead of the $40 I figured it would be, it was $320, and the bill for the alarm company, which I agreed to pay yearly, came due this week, and it was $300. Ouch and ouch. And I still desperately need to get to a dentist, which ain't going to be cheap. Two teeth have disintegrated on me now, but so far it's limited to them, but lupus patients don't heal well, and fibro patients don't either. I feel a little better knowing my heart is okay, but I'm just so scared about the cost in money and in recovery time, although I know I'll be much happier afterwards. This is one I really am just afraid to face. I never thought I would allow myself to be seen with two teeth missing, even if they are on the side. That's how scared of it I am.

So Ozzy has been spending lots of time with mom, and making with the sad eyes to me. When Alex was here today, he spent almost all the time in her lap. It's like he's mad at me. He won't even stay in my lap. Well, tonight he didn't come to bed, even when I called, so I went to see what was going on, and he was out having dinner in the dining room with Grandma. Ok, I understand that. I had just poured fresh food and there was someone there to keep him company. When he was done he came in and got his four pupparoni, as usual and he was leaving the room and I gave him a look, one of my "wanna play" looks and he goes bounding down the hall, on all four springs. Haven't seen that in a while. So I spent some time with him not just sitting and throwing the babies for him. That's lame. We played like a Terrier needs to be played with. I chased him and he ran for the babies and we fought over them and he growled at me and I growled at him, and he had the biggest grin on his face. It was a pretty good work out for both of us. Maybe that's what I need to be doing instead of trying to remember to get on the treadmill - playing Terrier with my Ozzman.

So, tomorrow first thing I'm going to go get my hair cut. Hopefully this time she'll give me a good one like the first time. I was so disappointed that she didn't give me a good one for my trip to Arizona. The first one everyone here was just loving and praising, and the second one just was.... off. The weight of the hair fell in the wrong place and she cut the back too short. But, I put it off until the last minute so I didn't have a chance for it to grow out or for her to be able to fix it. I'll talk to her about it tomorrow, cause she really can do a good cut, and the first time the layers fell so beautifully. I would like it to be like that when I come back for Ali's wedding.

So, day two of Ambien, which I took almost three hours ago, and I'm still going strong. Unbelievable. I don't know whether it's that my metabolism is that slow, or that my will is that strong. I just can't shut off, and, seemingly, when I do shut off, I do it really well. But I have to be up early tomorrow, which is good cause that will help with the cycle changeover, too. Every little bit, and all. I'll let you know how it goes. If I stay awake too long, I might come back with a crew cut.