I sent him a text message on ... .... one morning this week- Monday?, and told him I didn't want him to worry but that I had gone to the ER early in the morning and it turned out to be gallstones, but I was okay. A couple of hours later Alex called me and we talked some but I never heard from Josh. I thought that was odd considering how thoughtful Josh always is.
I decided to call him that night, mostly just to hear his voice and say good night and he asked me how I was feeling and I said better now and I said it was a night of firsts for me, and he asked me what I meant. I said, well, I had never called 911 for anyone else much less for me before. He said. "You called 911? Why?" I told him that I was in a lot of pain an couldn't make it from one end of the house to the other not to mention the cold sweat and back pain. Then I told him it was the first time I rode in an ambulance. He said, "You went to the hospital in an ambulance!?" I said, well, yeah, the guys were there and all and you get in much faster.
I don't think I got to tell him about the CT scan cause he was pretty upset by then. He said that he had no idea it was that serious - he couldn't tell from the text message. He explained that Alex's mom has been going to the ER a lot with the dizziness problems she's been having and he was thinking of it more like an urgent care visit. He was so upset and apologetic. I felt so bad. He couldn't stop apologizing for the misunderstanding - he was really busy at work and had Alex make sure I was okay and when it turned out I was, he said I was on his mind all day, but he didn't think it was something like this.
I think I finally convinced him I forgave him, that it wasn't a problem, that I felt bad for not making it clearer and we hung up. It must have been less than an minute or two later when the phone rang again and it was Josh. He asked me, if anything like that ever arises again, to leave him a voice mail. If he is busy he could check it later but there are inflections he can hear in my voice that he just couldn't get on a text message. He was apologizing and I was apologizing and I was tearing up cause I knew there was a reason that I didn't hear from him. That is SO not like Josh. If he knew, he would have called.
I wasn't exactly playing the martyr, but I was trying to keep him from worrying, and I can't do that any more. He's a man, and I can't keep the world from him. He's more than ready to handle the world. In fact, it's time I realize that he's the one to take on the job of worrying. I've tried to keep my medical stuff generally private so he wouldn't worry, cause I'm his only parent, but I can't do that any more.
In fact, that's how we ended the conversation. He said that we needed to work on our communication. He made me promise to let him know what was going on. He needs to know more about what's going on with me so these things don't come as such a big surprise.
Well, maybe not THIS particular thing. Now you know how I spent Tuesday morning from midnight to sunup. They eliminated heart problems pretty quickly, so I guess there's not much point in rescheduling the one back home. The Dr. said I had a few stones but my gallbladder wasn't inflamed, I had a CT scan because the tortuous ultrasound (I thought they were supposed to be benign?) didn't show enough. I was in pain (but then again, aren't I always in some kind of flippin pain), not just the right back ribs this time, but, as they put it, belly pain. It was the belly pain that worried me at home cause I couldn't straighten up (really, no easy jokes at a time like this) to walk back to my bedroom. It was scary.
The hospital staff were nice, except for the one nurse, after the doctor said I could have more morphine if I needed it, just laughed at me when I asked for it, saying 'Dude!" I kid you not. Everyone else was great. The left me with a cd to take home to my doctor with all the documentation and film on it. Mom was shocked when she asked if I was going to open it and I said no. Overwhelming curiosity is not one of my vices. But she's fascinated by medical stuff - well she's got an overwhelming curiosity for life, and was immediately on the internet as soon as she could and was gathering information. The official diagnosis for the incident was biliary colic. I'm 51 and still colicky.
So, what have I learned from this round at the hospital? First of all, I didn't even attempt to drive myself - I think that's a big one. I think I learned to identify when I'm in trouble a little sooner, and when you're asking for morphine, rate your pain a little higher than a 6.
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